‘All these improvements are made to flatter the boss, don’t we understand?’, ‘Nowadays, those who get promotions are the ones lobbying’, ‘Hey, what kind of song does he sing! Such is his reputation.’
There are many of us, despite being qualified in our respective fields, we have to hear various harsh words from others and at some point it becomes a habit to hear these words. It becomes a habit to avoid others. Avoiding others is not that difficult. But in the case of someone, if no one else says these words to yourself? then? Can you avoid yourself so easily?
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This is the main problem for people with imposter syndrome. They think any achievement, any success is a kind of hypocrisy. In their opinion, they did not get these successes due to their merits – rather they got them by luck. This mental problem is not really a curable disease. Rather, it happens due to lack of self-confidence. The term was first coined by psychologists Susanna Eames and Pauline Rose Clans.
Even in the case of many successful people who have fulfillment in personal life or career, sometimes some questions arise about their achievements. The questions are usually something like – ‘Am I really worth this much?’
Lest people know anything!
Or ‘if everyone knows that I am not so worthy? What if I get caught?’ They live with this kind of fear in their daily life and some of the negative effects of this fear also affect their behavior. Since he assumes, he doesn’t have the skills – in that case, failure seems much more natural to him. After several successes, if the blue darkness of failure settles in him even once, then he thinks – this is what it is supposed to be. This is what I deserve, but all the success so far was a lie. Imposter syndrome creates a void in his personal life, his professional life – his social life as a whole. In that hollow space there is no one but the individual, nothing else. At the extremes of imposter syndrome, the person may become deeply depressed, feel life is very meaningless, and eventually withdraw into himself.
Is there any solution?
The interesting thing is that those who are so afraid of success or competence, in most cases these people are much more efficient, much more successful in the world we know. While some may scorn it and throw out phrases like ‘sukhe khata bhute kilay’, imposter syndrome can make sufferers quite vulnerable and become more fragile without emotional support or sensitivity from others. So we should, if these symptoms appear in someone around us, friends, loved ones, tell them. Be there for them and try to make them feel that they deserve as much or more than they have achieved.
In raising children, parents must be aware that they value the child’s achievements and do not crush his confidence by repeatedly comparing him with others. Such children may grow up to suffer from problems like imposter syndrome, life will be more difficult for them than usual. Because they cannot even enjoy their own success.
As mentioned earlier, there is no exact medical cure for it. But when the problem starts, if the person realizes it or someone close to him can see it – then some steps can be taken. Whenever the sufferer questions, doubts about any success, he needs to find answers to some basic questions. Has he put enough physical and mental effort into the success that has caught up with him? At the time that he got the success, how many others were claiming this success? Instead of emphasizing your weaknesses, focus on your positive aspects. These things should be brought into daily practice, so that the head is not burdened with unnecessary thoughts. Learn to accept life’s successes without worrying unnecessarily. Remember, like freedom, success is harder to maintain than to achieve.
References:
1. https://blog.hubspot.com/marketing/impostor-syndrome-tips
2. https://www.verywellmind.com/imposter-syndrome-and-social-anxiety-disorder-4156469
3. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/imposter-syndrome
